I've Got The Expat Blues...Da na na na na

Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing living on the other side of the world to my family. Although I love Australia, it is where my own family is. It is where I fell in love with B, it is the country where I gave birth to my daughter and have raised her so far. But everyone I want to share it with is a bazillion miles away. It makes me feel sad and guilty. My gran is quite sick and when I think about it, this is when I get my saddest. I am so far away and all I want to do is be able to spend time with her and for her to spend time with my daughter. I know it would light her heart up to see Sue-Sue again. And I also feel terrible that I have denied my mom the experience of being a hands on Grandma. I know it breaks her heart and mine too. Mabel would love to see her Granny and get spoilt rotten. I would love to go home and visit everyone, but the thought of flying 24 hours with a 1.5 year old scares the bejesus out of me. Maybe I need to get over that and realize that it is only 24 hours and we'll survive and get my ass on a plane...